One-on-ones
One-on-one meetings for engineering leads
A one-on-one is the engineer's meeting, not a status update. Done well, it is where problems surface early, feedback flows both ways and careers get planned. Here is an agenda template, questions that work, and how to adapt the meeting to a team that works with AI tools.
What a one-on-one is for
- Trust: a regular, private space where the engineer can raise anything.
- Early warning: frustration, overload, conflict or a plan to leave, heard before it becomes a crisis.
- Feedback: in both directions, while it is still fresh.
- Growth: career goals, skills and the work that will build them.
What it is not: a project status meeting. Status belongs in stand-ups, boards and written updates. If a one-on-one keeps turning into status, fix the team's status channel.
Cadence and format
| Situation | Common cadence | Length |
|---|---|---|
| New to the team, or you are new | Weekly | 30 minutes |
| Established working relationship | Weekly or every two weeks | 30 minutes |
| Senior engineer who prefers less | Every two weeks | 30–45 minutes |
| Someone going through a hard time | More often, briefly | 15–30 minutes |
Protect the slot. Moving a one-on-one occasionally is fine; cancelling it often tells the engineer it does not matter. Keep a shared running document so both of you can add topics and track commitments.
An agenda template
One-on-one: [name] and [lead], [date]
1. Check-in (a few minutes): How are you doing? What is on your mind?
2. Their topics (most of the time): whatever they added to the document.
3. Blockers: anything slowing them down that you can remove.
4. Feedback: one thing from you, and one thing for you.
5. Growth (every few meetings): progress on their development goal.
6. Your topics: context they need, changes coming.
7. Actions: who does what, by when. Review these at the start of the next one.
Questions that work
Opening
- What is on your mind this week?
- What would make this conversation useful for you today?
Work and blockers
- What is slowing you down that I might be able to fix?
- Which part of your work feels least clear right now?
- Is there a decision you are waiting on?
Team and collaboration
- How are things with the people you work with most?
- Is there anything about how the team works that you would change?
Growth
- What would you like to be doing a year from now?
- What skill do you want to build next, and what work would help?
- What was the most interesting problem you solved recently?
Feedback for you
- What is one thing I could do differently that would help you?
- Is there anything I did recently that did not land well?
Your first one-on-one with someone
The first meeting sets the pattern. Spend it learning how the person works rather than discussing tasks:
- How do you like to receive feedback: written, spoken, right away or saved for our meeting?
- What did a previous lead do that helped you? What did not help?
- What are you proud of in your recent work?
- What do you want to learn or do more of this year?
- How will I know if you are stressed or stuck?
- What would you like me to know about you that is not in your profile?
Explain how you run one-on-ones, that the time belongs to them, and how to add topics to the shared document. Then follow through at the next meeting on anything you said you would do. New leads can find where these meetings fit in the wider plan in your first 90 days.
Adapting one-on-ones for teams that build with AI
AI tools change the work in ways that often do not show up in tickets. One-on-ones are a good place to notice them:
- How the tools are helping or getting in the way. "Where did an assistant save you time this week? Where did it cost you time?"
- Understanding, not just output. "Walk me through something tricky you merged recently." This is a coaching conversation, not a test.
- Review load. Engineers doing many reviews of generated changes can feel busy without feeling productive. Ask about it.
- Career anxiety. Some engineers worry about what AI means for their role. Talk about the skills that are growing in value: design, review, debugging, communication and domain knowledge.
- Policy friction. Whether the team's AI tool policy is clear and workable in practice.
Adapting to the person
| Engineer | Emphasis |
|---|---|
| Early career | Learning plans, review feedback, building understanding of generated code |
| Senior | Influence, scope, visibility of their impact, the organizational context they lack |
| Former peer | How the relationship has changed and what they need from you now |
| Remote | Camera-on connection, isolation, and access to informal information |
Senior engineers are often under-supported because they need less direction. They usually benefit most from help navigating the organization and from work that stretches them. For growth planning, see engineering career ladders.
Common mistakes
- Talking most of the time. Aim to listen more than you speak.
- Saving feedback for performance reviews. Nothing in a review should be a surprise.
- No follow-through. Actions that are never done teach people not to raise things.
- Only discussing problems. Recognize good work specifically.
- Treating every meeting the same. Some weeks need a career conversation, some a quick check-in.
Common questions
What if the engineer has nothing to discuss?
Use one of the growth or team questions above. If it keeps happening, ask directly what would make the meeting worth their time, and consider meeting less often.
Should engineering leads hold one-on-ones if they are not managers?
Many do, especially with the engineers they mentor. Agree with the people manager who covers which topics, so performance and pay conversations stay with the right person. See engineering lead vs engineering manager.
How do I handle a difficult topic that comes up?
Listen first, ask what they would like to happen, and be clear about what you can and cannot do. Involve HR where your company's policies require it.
Should I take notes?
Yes, in a shared document for agreed actions and topics. Keep sensitive personal notes out of shared spaces and follow your company's guidance on what to record.
Last reviewed 2026-09-17